Dependence

The last relationship you have is the one you will have with yourself, that is when you get to be born again; this time you give birth to yourself. How you value yourself will determine how you value another. Are you able to depend on yourself? Over time, you build yourself and become independent.

A child has 21 years to becoming independent which is why 21 is a milestone; it is when you get the key to your freedom. By 21, you have spent three seven-year cycles (0 to 7 reaching full two way dependency, 7 to 14 reaching full two way inter-dependency, and 14 to 21 reaching full two way independence).

So the unspoken understanding is that by 21, people are generally fully independent which is the significance of the 21st birthday; it is a significant milestone marking the transition from adolescence to adulthood. I was celebrated by being handed a golden key pendant as I turned 21 . It signified the elders confidence in me to be a young woman. I understood very early that no door was closed to me. Every door will be open to me with this golden key. The only caveat in fine print was that we must be ready to face what awaits behind the closed doors. At first, it seems like a mystery but with the necessary levels of perseverance, we are able to enjoy process, as in essence, the journey is the destination.

Like they say in the marvel comic, Spider-man, "with great power comes great responsibility".

I feel no one should date until at least they are 21 years old because you do not want to used by the other as an object. In the United States, the legal drinking age is 21. If alcohol is not allowed till 21, then romantic relationships too should not be allowed till 21, because both are addictive; the effect of the former lasts a few hours, the effect of the latter lasts a lifetime.

When we allow the other to touch us, they leave their trademark in our auric field. If the relationship works out then it ends in a marriage, otherwise it ends but what we fail to recognize is that their fingerprints are the invisible filter through which the world would sense us. The seed of the previous relationship will be the one that will lead to the next relationship, which is why if someone has many relationships, they would not be able to be as committed in the one relationship they have with their marriage partner.

Essentially, if I am for everyone then I am for no one.

The added bonus is that there is no energy leakage before 21. Only then, one should get involved in romantic relationships, otherwise one is splitting the energy that should be going into self-rooting, self-nurturing, and self-establishment into work and relationship. It is like having right leg in one space and the left in another space. You will not be able to do justice to either because you are not focused. Like the sun rays, only when focused, it can create a fire. The strength of the fire is what keeps us fully alive and it is solely our own responsibility to keep the fire at its strongest.